On the 24th of December, as people were going about the business of last-minute Christmas shopping, or avoiding the festive spirit with all their might, the world was treated to its second extraordinary light show this year.

Like in May, the sky was filled with cracks, but rather than receding after a short time, these expanded to fill the sky, until it was nothing but brilliant white light - appropriate for Christmas, many thought! The light continued to shine through the night, before, at around noon on Christmas day, disappearing as suddenly as it came, leaving a beautiful, sunny winter's day in its place!

A fashionable restaurant in London has come under scrutiny recently, following a scandal where one of its patrons fell rapidly ill in the middle of a romantic dinner date, dying dramatically in the arms of his date before an ambulance could even arrive.

Concerned citizens are demanding an enquiry into the death of Mr Calavera, whose funeral will be held on the 29th. His companion, a Mr Andrew Canning, could not be reached for comment.

The stone circle at Stonehenge is no more, having been reduced to dust and the ground around it is utterly devoid of plant life.

Nobody quite knows the cause of this phenomenon, but many speculate that this was the result of a demon summoning ritual, given recent events at the once historic site. Reports state that Madalena Wormwood, Gideon Schoenbaum, Holly Prague and Arcayne were recently seen leaving the site.

In a baffling turn of events, the world, both magical and otherwise, has been hit with the biggest outbreak of cyber espionage anyone has ever seen. Although the term espionage perhaps gives whomever did this too much credit. The perpetrator(s) seem to have just accessed a multitude of supposedly secure websites and databases, including various corporate and government servers, leaving a trail of various outdated internet memes in their wake as something of a calling card.

The exact nature of the information accessed is unknown, but governments worldwide have been speaking about breaches of national security, all pointing fingers at each other before realising that this has happened to just about everyone.

The Grand Opening of Bath's New Spa was interrupted by the appearance of a huge swarm of rats, an occurrence that has forced town officials to evacuate the historic centre of the town. The keenly anticipated New Spa, hailed by the Architectural Review as a masterpiece of daring and original design, was completed by Jason Dunne of Jobs Dunne Right last month, in line with the vision of architectural firm Bristol, Tuck and Bloodworth. The Gaian of Bath was present at the opening ceremony, but has not made a public appearance since. The town council, meanwhile, are eager to emphasise that the influx of vermin is not thought to be associated with the new development. Enquiries are ongoing.

Following a viral crowdfunding campaign, an unorthodox mission to the moon staffed by witches using 'the elemental power of air' instead of large quantities of expensive rocket fuel, is underway. Masterminded by one Axel Jones, with assistance from Elide Words Starting With W, new agencies have head that the return of the astronauts: Elide, Amina Angelcake, Lemon Mousse, and Felix Charmed, is expected shortly, though there have been some unforeseen delays.

Reports are coming in of a surprising number of Celestials making appearances on Earth. Many of them are said to look lost and confused, as disorientated by our Earth as we are by their home! What are they doing here? Why don't they just go back to Aether if they don't like it here?

#flymetothemoon
#apocalypsenow
#mostdateableseraph
#ripsamcalavera
#turingtest
#thehollowmen
#aintnopartylikeademonparty