Although best known for his practical discoveries, Axel Jones was also an accomplished magical theorist. Following his involvement in the Havering Hill Assembly, Jones went on to research the laws of magic in planes other than our own, proving the existence of certain magical constants that exist throughout not only the known realms, but every possible realm that could exist.

Most notable, of course, were his discoveries regarding the workings of space, both terrestrial, aetherial, legal and otherwise. Who hasn’t seen a teleportation pad working in some important building or another? While the magical processes involved still rule out teleportation as an effective substitute for mundane travel, the potential for immediate movement has saved hundreds of lives and made thousands of lives much, much easier.

While hundreds of people have derived their work from Jones’s, the man himself was known as an esoteric thinker, moving quickly from one project to the next. In addition to teleportation, Jones also turned his attention to magical diplomatic aids, the phenomenon later described as ‘tether entanglement’ but known at the time as ‘Radical Friendship’, and what he himself charmingly described as the ‘Non-reality making laser’.

— An extract from Xander Jones’ Pioneers of the Future

While many people have brought this paper to fruition - my fellow Filings; the Slough Institute; my dear husband Aleister - I would like to dedicate this paper to the Radical Friends. You might have disappeared in a mass of horrible death and horror but you will never be forgotten.

Also, to badgers. I really like badgers.

— Dedication to ‘On the fundamental laws of magic’ by Axel Jones

Sometimes you know that you need to multiply something, and you need to be more specific than just multiplying it. You could double it, triple it or even quadruple it, but if you need something smaller you might want to sesquiplicate it. Sesquiplicating is multiplying by one and a half, and sometimes multiplying by one and a half can be very handy!

— From Felix’s Fun Filofax of Filing Facts

‘Oh Angelcake, truly you are as your name implies - as powerful and mysterious as an angel, but as delightful as a cake.’

‘Oh Axel, my bae, please, tell me this means what I think it does! Tell me you feel the same!’

‘I do, but my love . . . it cannot be, for I am married and I could never hurt my husband like that. We must disguise our passion my darling, under layers of antagonism so that none may know our love.’

‘Oh my darling I understand, but know that my heart is totally breaking right now.’

‘I know my love, I’m sorry.’

— Dialogue from Meet Me In Havering Hill, a romantic film based on the events of 2020