Zaque Stonewell (Steph E)

Despite the fact that there has been no sighting of Zaque Stonewell in over 50 years, their eternally youthful appearance leads many to believe they are still out there, waiting to be forgotten about so they can pick up their crime spree where they left off. Others believe it to have just been a glamour they cast upon themselves, and that the reasoning for their appearances spreading out as the years went by was due to the fact that beneath the glamour, they were no more capable than any other nonagenarian.

My personal theory is that the eternal youth was a last boon granted to them by their one-time love, Lucifer, to allow them to survive until they were able to be with them once again. Their crime spree was an act of desperation, trying to gain the funds and resources to develop the means to do so, and their disappearance is evidence that they succeeded in this endeavour. That their adopted sibling seemed to have a similar boon does not deter my belief in this theory, it just makes me wonder who he was trying to find a way to.

— An extract from Bizarre Crimes of the 21st Century by P.I. Carter


'She will never love me, a humble mortal! I cannot stand up to the stars themselves James!'

'Oh but Zaque, you yourself are as beautiful as the stars.'

'But James, she is the very seraph of knowledge herself!'

'And you are one of the most intelligenct witches of the 21st century, Zaque, can't you see how amazing you are? I can see how amazing you are . . . the seraph of Knowledge must know that you are extraordinary, beautiful, lovable . . . if you go out there, I know you can win her heart!'

'Oh James, really?'

'Yes, really.'

Zaque flings their arms around James, who looks away. the camera zooms in on the single tear rolling down James's cheek as he advises the love of his life to pursue another.

— From Meet Me in Havering Hill, a romantic film about the events surrounding the Fall of Heaven


It's tacky, but screw it:

This book, the final product of all my knowledge, is for Lucifer.

Sorry James.

— The dedication to Meetings of Minds and Magic by Zaque Stonewell